Til Death Do Us Recap

Married at First Sight S.14 e.7 - A Speck of Hope

Because of Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 7, we finally get to talk about so much more than YOU KNOW WHO. But it's not QUITE a relief because it means every couple has some things to be nervous about. What should we cover first? MTS's bed bug infested apartment, word "art" decals, or that Lindsey makes him feel like HE'S NOT LIVING IN HIS OWN SKIN? How about Steve's pride in his led tube light-lined ceilings? Or that his freelance dreams make Noi cry? Don't worry, we have some specks of hope though. Especially for Chris, who finally stepped into his power and dignity and demanded a divorce!!! All of this and so much more on this week's episode! 

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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Married at First Sight S.14 e. 6 - ”I’m a Nice Person!”

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 6 was one for the books, friends. How could we count the times Alyssa made us simultaneously speechless and want to scream?! We're watching a #MAFS villain of the ilk we've never seen before - a commitment and paranoid obsession with making it known that she is indeed a good person, regardless of the fact that she continues to act like a terrible person. As the song goes, "Nothing compares to you," and the truth is most of this episode focuses on Alyssa & Chris because none of the other couples have *real issues* yet comparatively speaking. We rant and we rave, join us!!! 

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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Married at First Sight S.14 e.5 - A Whole P**p Picnic

We finally get our first full honeymoon episode in Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 5 and OH EM GEE ya'll it blew up our brains with the amount of drama that unfolded! Where do we even begin? Alyssa claiming to be literally the nicest person ever to literally everyone? Olajuwon revealing to his wife that he had slept with a mother and daughter in the same family in front of an entire boat of people? Or her acting like she didn't mind? Perhaps we should start with Lindsey making every excuse for her bad behavior except the most obvious one - copious amounts of alcohol... or maybe her revealing that Mark was clogging the toilet and farting under the covers?! Noi professing her love for Steve and him responding "okay" on day 3 honestly is almost an afterthought by the end of this episode. All of this and so.much.damn.more. on today's Til Death Do Us Recap!!

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home- Pet Dress

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Married at First Sight S.14 e.4 -Stop Co-opting Good Words, Alyssa!

Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 4 was chalk full of new insights and plenty more drama. Alyssa co-opts all of the good therapeutic language that has made our society a better place, and turns into meaningless victim mentality mush. We are PISSED. She pulls out the tears and says "uncomfortable" and "disrespect" a lot, and yet all we're still hearing is "Chris isn't hot enough for me so I refuse to try." And scene. Believe it or not, there's still plenty more to talk about. Lindsey taking us on a rollercoaster ride of loving her to being repulsed by her, Katina getting heated, Jasmina inventing a conflict with Michael, and so much more. Join us as we process and scream!

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

Married at First Sight S.14 e. 2&3- Abercrombie Tears

We took a week off and we are back at you with a recap of Married at First Sight Season 14, Episode 2 AND 3, aka ALL OF THE WEDDINGS! Where do we even begin? Sure, Alyssa cried reading Chris's beautiful letter, but that was only when she was envisioning an Abercrombie model writing it. Whatever the opposite of love at first sight is? That's how Alyssa feels about Chris. His life vocation of frisbee golf and his friend's insight into his behavior just make everything worse. It's hard to have any hope here or understand why the experts matched these two. In true Olajuwon form, he talks AT everyone to fill the space and doesn't seem to pick up on any social cues. So much so that he thought dry humping his new wife KatRina (lol) in front of her family was the correct choice. We stan Steve & Noi Moi. Jasmina and Michael give us a lot of hope. And Lindsey & MTS continue to be our wildcard! No surprise, we have a million thoughts on all of these couples. Listen and share with your friends! 

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

Married at First Sight S.14 e.1 - OMG REALLY EXPERTS?

It's a New Year and a New season of Married at First Sight is upon us! Season 14 in Boston has begun and oh boy, what a season we have ahead of us. We've got someone who repeatedly refers to themself as MTS paired with the basket case of bubbles and penis jokes. It's hard not to feel like the experts did a lot of "Oh, you think that's the number one thing you don't want? Let's try it anyways!" Between Katina and her severe cheater ex past being paired w/ the self-professed "new and improved" former playboy Olajuwan, and Jasmina w/ her biggest qualm being emotionally unavailable men being paired w/ someone (Michael) who's friends specifically and continually point out that he has a history of emotional unavailability..... one has to wonder. WHAT ARE THE EXPERTS DOING?! Could it be that producers are just trying to give us titillating television?! We have plenty to say, and not the most high hopes for these couples, but we're still so excited to watch how all of these relationships unfold. Join us as we gab and debrief Married at First Sight Season 14 every week! 

 

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

 

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Married at First Sight Season 13 FINAL EP- VILLAINS UNITE

We are finishing out the year and the Married at First Sight Season 13 with a bang and a DOUBLE EP RECAP. We got ourselves Reunion Part 2, which felt much more revealing than part 1, and THEN these producers surprised us with a Where Are They Now episode which included a CAST GETAWAY. Who knew?! LOL. Johnny continues to make his case for his right-ness by being a giggling mean girl with Myrla, making a joke at Gil's expense, and calling up Sarah McAss (Bao's ex-best friend of TWENTY years) on Zoom with a glass of wine. Little does he know, he's digging his grave for all of us viewers. For the cast member who likes his screen time the most, he sure makes himself look more jerk-ish than ever. Gil cries and seperates himself from the rest of the cast activities, ZAO is a new celebrity couple that we are mostly rooting for, Michaela is busy being a changed independent woman in her townhouse, and Brett is Miss Congeniality jumping between her friendships with everyone. It should come as no surprise that Tim & Britt have PLENTY to say on our final two episodes closing out the Houston MAFS season. Join us! 

 

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

Married at First Sight S.13 e. 18- REUNION PART 1

Holy Moly, folks, we got ourselves the juicy Reunion Part 1 we've been waiting for, and it feels fitting that it's also our 50th Til Death Do Us Recap episode! WHERE do we begin?! Gyrla is no more, and we are devastated along with Gil while Myrla's unfeeling ass appears totally and completely unbothered. Was she performing the whole way through? Did she get last minute cold feet when she realized real life was on the horizon? Are her and Johnny an item?! Turns out Brett isn't as innocent as we thought, but overall these two seem to both agree they never had a future together. Jose and Rach have already broken up and gotten back together, and Michaela and Zack can't even be in the same room. So much he said she said, secrets revealed galore, and Kevin Frasier does NOT mince words and we are here for it. All of this and more on this week's episode!

 

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

Married at First Sight S.13 e. 17 - No Regrets

It's Married at First Sight Season 13 episode 17, folks, and we MADE IT TO D-DAY! Decision Day is upon us, which always leaves room for last minute wildcards, tears, and a healthy dose of bullshitting. This season was no exception. Say what you will about the experts' presence (or lack thereof) this season, but they were not going to beat around any bushes today. Dr. Pepper especially came for the jugular when necessary, and with that we forgive her for being absent 80% of the season. Zack toys with Michaela's head one last time (lol probz not let's be real), Johnny tries to play victim one last time, and Ryan gives the most meager excuse for an apology one last time, just in case we needed reminding that these are flawed men who are not ready for what marriage requires. Next week looks full of MANY MORE surprises, but until then, let's break everything we saw this week down!

 

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

 

Married at First Sight S.13 e. 16 - Blame Pie

Married at First Sight Season 13 episode 16 was our last before Decision Day ~ we rant and we RAVE today ya'll! We are feeling a type of way about Gil's judgement of Myrla, about Ryan's fake nice guy routine, about Johnny being Johnny, and about Zack playing Michaela. That doesn't mean we find these ladies blameless though. We want Myrla to speak up more, Bao to stop believing so hard in Johnny's potential, and Michaela to stop oversimplifying the magnitude of her blow-up incidents. As for Jose and Rachel... we just don't really know what to say, 'cause after all this time, we still don't really get them. All of this and so much more, listen to this week's #MAFS recap!

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Intro Song- Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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